TRUST: to rely upon or place confidence in someone or something

I forgot, for just a moment, that you cannot trust anyone.

People operate out of a place of pain and unhappiness, and will always act on what they think is in their best interest at the time.

Note to self.. stop being friends with girls


Anddddd I'm over it.

Sometimes I forget that I am an adult, and then I will be in the middle of some task like loading the dishwasher, switching clothes from the washer to the dryer or scrubbing the bathtub and it hits me like a ton of bricks. Then I start thinking about all of the adult things in my life and I start to get claustrophobic.

I frequently miss the days of living at home having my mom take care of my laundry and cook dinner, my dad fixing stuff when it was broken, sleeping in, and only ever having to worry about getting my homework done or keeping my room clean.

I don't know what good growing up has done me.

License to Breed

I hate when people yell at their kids. Especially when the kid is just being a kid. It is atrocious. People treat their children like little inconveniences that plague their lives.

If you cannot show the child you created unconditional love and make the child feel like it a miracle, because it is, then don't have one or give it up for adoption. It's not fair. BIRTH CONTROL PEOPLE. Pills, condoms, spermicide, morning after pill, etc etc.

Listen, I don't want kids, at least not any time soon. But if I were to have one, I would never treat him or her with anything other than love and respect. I wouldn't scream at them for acting like a kid. Children need to be children.

Creating life is a miracle. People take it for granted. There are so many people out there who desperately want to experience creating a life with the person they love and can't because of fertility issues.

Explain to me how it's fair that miserable bags of death women can pop out kids they loathe, but someone who wants to have a child more than they want to breathe cannot.

Thursday Morning High

Wednesday nights are my favorite time of the week.

The worst part (Sunday night - Wednesday morning) is over and you have the best part of the week (Thursday morning - Sunday morning) to look forward to. It's smack dab in the middle of it all. The pinnacle, if you will. And, America's Next Top Model is on.

What's almost equally as good is the Thursday morning high you have coming off of an especially great Wednesday night.

Maybe it's just the red bull, two cups of coffee and two hydoxicut talking here, or the fact that I woke up at 550am to start my marathon training program. Maybe it's the smile I got this morning when I walked in the door. It could be the feeling of liberation. Maybe it's the amazing new people in my life, or it could just be that I had a really great night last night.

Whatever the reason, I am so happy to say that for the first time in a very long time, I am genuinely happy in this moment. Happy as a pig in shit.

Quite a Surprise

I woke up election day certain that John McCain was going to win. I had a feeling that Obama winning would be too good to be true.

Nevertheless, I spent the whole day in excited anticipation and at 4pm I was finally able to cast MY vote. I proudly connected the arrow next to one Barak Obama and a proud smile creeped across my face.

The rest of the day was so very enjoyable as I listened to the votes roll in and celebrated with new friends as McCain made his concession speech.

My only disappointment was that 102 passed. I cannot believe it. Well, I can. But I don't want to.

Maybe someday this world will be a better place. Welcome, President Obama.

Victory!

I made it past day one. The day of tears and ripped heart valves.

For the first time in four years I went out as a single female. I felt it was premature because the breakup had literally just happened, but I realized that it was not going to do me any good to sit around and cry all night. The point of this breakup is for me to find myself and become a stronger, more stable person and wallowing in self pity is not going to help that.

I'm glad I went out. I had a really fun time. More fun that I would have had if I wasn't "single" because for the first time in years I didn't feel guilty for it.

Now on to day two...

Déclaration de Mission

We recently went through and devised a business plan here at the office. Surprisingly, developing our mission statement was the most challenging piece. All of the other information was factual. Hard evidence supporting our profits, yearly projections and market demographics is my forte, but truly defining our purpose and core values proved to be a task of miserable proportions.

Despite my dismay for this daunting task, I realize that running a business or a life without set of values and principals is like travelling to a foreign country with no maps, guide books, language dictionary or idea what you are going to do.

Now, that may seem fun and spontaneous at first. I give you that. But once the initial excitement of ‘living on the edge’ dissolves, you are left scared, hungry and alone.

The purpose of the mission statement is to define your intentions and the way you plan on going about achieving your goals. You use it to benchmark your progress and reconnect with your ideals when you get off track.

We had been operating the business for almost two years with no mission statement. I don’t know how we survived this long. Sheer luck?

Now for the interesting revelation… I have been living without a personal mission statement for 25 years. 25 years of aimless wandering without any real goal and no place to tie myself back to. It’s so shocking to me that I am as successful as I am. I feel like I should be a crack whore living on the streets looking for my next hit.

The good news is, at least now I know and can do something about it.